Bridesmaid: Thai Style

By Remke

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I want to share with all of you one of the best experiences I have had so far in Thailand. I recently had the honour of being a bridesmaid at a Thai wedding. A Thai wedding is different from a Western wedding in many ways. Whereas we in the West, often have a whole day of ceremony and going to the city hall or church, in Thailand it is more about the true meaning of a wedding. This is why the ceremony is very modest. Everybody wishes the happy couple good luck and prosperity by tying a little rope around their wrists. No expensive gifts are given and there is no excessive use of drink, music, decoration or food. I personally like the idea of a modest ceremony because the main thing a wedding is about is the marrying of two people. In parts of Thailand it is not about eating until you drop or buying the most expensive gift to show off. Personally, I think we should learn from this Thai custom!!

The bride at this wedding did not have her own dress, but rented it, together with the dresses of the bridesmaides. Before the wedding started, we had to prepare the decoration, which consisted mainly of two big bows made of coconut palm and decorated with flowers. We also prepared a lot of food for the guests that were coming. The entire neighbourhood helped.

The Ceremony:

Two hours before the ceremony started, I went with the bride to do my hair and make up. This we did in a little salon where we also put on our wedding clothes. I wore a blue skirt with a wrapped top, the whole of it decorated with "golden" jewelry and a golden belt, which made me feel like my kidneys were up in my throat; but I wore it bravely! I could not wear a dress because of something called hips; so that's why I wore a skirt.

At four o'clock, the ceremony started. The groom and the best men came back from the groom's village and waited downstairs. The bride and bridesmaids had to go upstairs because they weren't meant to see each other before the ceremony. The ceremony took place in the living room of the bride's house. I was probably more nervous than the bride when we were finally called downstairs, because of the tightness of my dress and the prospect of having to sit Thai-style for 45 minutes. All of the guests and the groom were already in the living room.

The bride wore a pink wedding dress and the groom a white suit with a Thai patterned fabric. Everybody sat on the floor. There was no priest or Buddhist monk present. An elderly from the village started the ceremony. This began by him counting the money that the groom had paid to the parents of the bride. Afterwards, he started a series of prayers. There was a big flower centerpiece in the middle of the room, with white ropes hanging from the flowers. After the praying had finished, (I could already feel my legs going numb), all the guests tied the white ropes around the wrists of the bride and groom. They rubbed their wrist 3 times before putting on the rope. This stands for good luck and fortune. Being a bridesmaid, I got some ropes myself. You are supposed to keep them on for 3 days.

Then the newlyweds gave a present, consisting of a pillow and candles, to all the older people that were present. That ended the ceremony and I could finally stand up. I could not straighten my legs for 5 minutes, but I had survived. All the guests were having dinner with the food we prepared. The last guests probably left around 22.00; so it was all quite restrained. The happy couple did receive some gifts, but I didn't see any toasters or cream jugs.

At the end of the wedding I was exhausted and because of my dress I couldn't eat too much. (Maybe a good diet idea.) But I had much sanook (fun) and I will never forget the painful but most beautiful experience of being involved in a Thai wedding.